Thursday, September 01, 2005

Letter to God

Dear God,

I am a 23 year old singaporean, studying electrical engineering. But you already know that, being omnipotent and all. Must say I have been a huge fan of your "working in mysterious ways" methodology of granting miracles. I am also quite a fan of your followers. Some of them have pretty nice figures (by my Asian standards). Please grant me a small favour. The next time you send someone to convert me, let her have long flowing black hair and nicely shaped breasts. You should know 23 year olds like me have short attention spans. It's the new millenium and it's time you upgraded yourself. You're losing out to the evangelistic churches. (I am assuming evagelistic christians are satan's minions and not yours. But what would i know. Only mortal here. *wink*).

Anyway the main point of this letter is this. Katrina? You call that a disaster? Goodness. You can do better then that right? You're God for God's sake. The death toll was paltry. We humans do better than that without all the theatrics. Damage to economy? That's not your "master plan" right? Come on. Give us 2 weeks and we'll bounce straight back up. Boing. You gave us greed afterall. The next time you try to kill some of us, send a meteor. Send it quickly because the technology is catching up with you.

You're getting old BRO
Your faithful believer


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you have a big psychological problem. It is a very sad thing since you have a great command for the english language.

But what you have written shows that you have serious lack of maturity for a 23 year old guy.

If Katrina is not considered a disaster, what is? Would you like to volunteer to god to be the next victim?

As for having god to grant you a gal with well shaped breasts and long flowy hair.. i suggest you buy a mannequin and put that fake hair on. That way, you can choose ur own breasts and your own hair.

Anyhow, i dont think god is free to entertain your insane letter anyway. Im sure his worst regret was creating you.

1:23 AM  
Blogger The Legal Janitor said...


for all your talk about maturity, you do not understand what is parody or satire do you?

even more hilarious is that you somehow think that your god empowers you to judge that god regrets creating the author of this blog.

Well, it appears that your god has left out "sense of humour" and "brain cells" when creating you, dear fundie. Now to blow yourself up with your suicide bomb.

11:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha funny stuff.:)

3:49 AM  

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